The Beast T-Shirt

Oh, your Triglyceride levels are "healthy"... ok, peasant. Congrats on being a beta. Meanwhile, I'm over here a certified pathological beast. Don't just take my word for it though. Ask my doctor. I'll sign whatever information release I have to so we don't violate HIPAA... and so you can eat crow. This trophy Beast t-shirt shouldn't even come in sizes other than "muscular" but TeeRex wanted to be inclusive for you try-hards so here ya go.  

Wear this Beast T-shirt to your next doctor's appointment and let your doctor know you mean business when it comes time to discuss your BMI, weight and cholesterol - all of which are the best he's ever seen by the way.

At a pool party? The Beast T-shirt lets all the riff raffle know that you are not to be trifled with in or out of the pool. You'll dominate in a game of Marco Polo and in a lounge chair. You'll want to keep this shirt on at all times - not to hide your emaciated biceps but to show off your beast mode.